That American Girl AU: Welcome to the New World
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: Another AU to my own AU That American Girl. Sounds more complicated than it really is. Violet got her will and Robert did not marry Cora. In this story they meet thirty years later, in New York. Mainly Cora/Robert, but with some Mary/Matthew and a little Isobel/Richard sprinkled in.
1. Chapter 1

AN: First of all, thank you for all the lovely reviews on _The Affair_. I am very grateful for every single one of them!

I will write the oneshot then, since so many of you said I should, but this is not it. 

This is another AU to _That American Girl_, but it is a lot shorter than all of the other stories I have written in that universe, just five or six chapters, each between 1000 and 2000 words, I think.

Just in case you haven't read any of my other _TAG_ stories:

Violet got her will and Robert did not marry Cora but the daughter of another English earl with a huge dowry. That marriage was ill-fated and produced only one child, Mary.

Cora married the Duke of Suffolk who died about five months before their only child, a boy named Sam, was born.

As this important to understand this story: Mary grew up very differently in this story as she did on the show, her relationship to her father is much more open and she hates her mother. Because of the different back story, she is a slightly (though not completely, I hope) different person and thus overcomes her scruples concerning Matthew rather easily. In this story Mary and Matthew get married sometime in 1913.

For those of you who asked: I am working on _Sentimental Haste_ (the one where Cora doesn't lose the baby and thus Matthew isn't the heir anymore) as well, and will start to post it as soon as I have outlined the whole plot (almost done with that) and written the first four or five chapters (not so much done with that :)).

Let me know what you think about this!

Kat

P.S.: The first chapter is sort of a prologue, so even if you find this boring, please do come back for the next chapter :)

* * *

Mary, your mother is dead STOP Up to you to come for the funeral. STOP I love you, Papa

He sends the telegram quite coolly. The clerk at the post office raises his eyebrows a little, but he just shrugs his shoulders. It is not a secret that he didn't like his wife. They hated each other for thirty years. Marrying her was the biggest mistake of his life and the only good thing that ever came out of it was Mary. After Mary's birth they were told that his wife couldn't have any more children and to him that had been a blessing in disguise. He would never have son, never have a direct heir, but he didn't care, because the news that his wife had become barren had also meant that he didn't have to take her to bed anymore. He hated the act, in fact he hated is so much that in over twenty-eight years he hasn't looked at another woman.

His life centered on Mary and his estate and when his heirs Patrick and James died on the Titanic, Matthew entered his life as well. He invited Matthew and his mother to live near the Abbey in one of the houses belonging to the estate against his wife's wishes. But he never really cared about his wife, her treatment of Mary was despicable and that alone was enough to disregard her. Her treatment of him wasn't much better, but it was her attitude towards their daughter that led him to stop trying to make their marriage at least acceptable. She blamed Mary for not being able to have any more children and she told Mary that she was disappointed in her from the moment of her birth. But luckily, after having been a timid and scared child for the first seven years of her life, Mary changed, yelled back at her mother that she hated her and never wanted to see her again. That had been the first time that Mary had spoken to her mother at all, for the first four years she only ever spoke to him and then slowly opened up to her grandparents and her aunt Rosamund. The event in her life that made Mary finally yell at her mother had unfortunately been her grandfather's, his father's, unexpected death, something that Mary, he, his mother and Rosamund struggled to deal with for some time. His mother eventually moved to the Dower House and Mary had her own room there and he thinks that Mary spent more time in the Dower House than at the Abbey and he is incredibly thankful to his mother for having allowed that, for taking Mary out of the line of fire.

His wife of course wanted Mary to marry Patrick, his heir, but Mary didn't like Patrick and so both he and his mother had stopped any wedding plans from forming. His mother to this day is infinitely sorry for having bullied him into his marriage, but he can't be mad at her. Once she realized how horrible it all was, she started to help him, she helped him with Mary, she tried to keep his wife out of his hair and often did so quite successfully. They both wanted Mary to marry a man she loved and when Matthew, the new heir, entered their lives and Mary and Matthew fell head over heels for one another, it didn't matter to him that Matthew was a future Earl, it only mattered that he made Mary happy.

Mary and Matthew moved into Crawley House but that didn't stop his wife from visiting and insulting Mary, Matthew and Isobel to their faces continually. According to Isobel, his wife also always shared a few choice words about him and his mother. There was nothing to be done and Mary and Matthew took to spending quite a lot of time in London. They couldn't stay at Grantham House though, his wife liked to go there unannounced, so they usually stayed with Rosamund, who always welcomed them for as long as they liked.

Mary once told him that she was very thankful to him, her granny, her mother-in-law and her aunt for continually going out of their way to make her feel comfortable, but that she didn't feel at home anywhere, that she always felt as if on the run. In January 1914, Matthew was offered a job in New York and after some deliberation, he took the job and Mary and he moved to New York. Mary writes to him at least once a week, he had planned on visiting them for two three months stints a year, but with the outbreak of the war, that had become impossible. He hasn't seen his daughter or son-in-law since the day they left for New York more than five years ago and thus he has never met his grandchildren.

George was born in October 1914 and Lizzie in January 1917. Mary of course sends pictures regularly and he thinks the children are very cute and he would like to meet them very much. He actually had a crossing booked for February, but then the Spanish Flu broke out on his estate and he couldn't very well leave. His wife caught the disease about a week ago and succumbed to it last night, on April 8th 1919, 30 years and 18 days after their wedding.

He still feels as if he was in a daze. He wears black of course, but he doesn't mourn his wife. When Patrick and James had died, his mother said that she wasn't sorry about James and he just isn't sorry about his wife. And after all, what are you supposed to feel when a person you hated for thirty years dies and is therefore out of your life?

He has left the arrangements of the funeral to Travis and the undertakers, he will attend the service of course and accept all the condolences given to him and he will try to not seem too unfeeling, although it will be hard for him.

Papa, won't come. STOP Not in condition to STOP Will send letter STOP I love you, Mary.

He has to smile at the telegram; he knows what 'not in condition to' means. It means that his little girl is pregnant again. He is very happy for her and Matthew, he knows they wanted a third child and he is sure that they are wonderful parents. Mary had been a little worried when she was pregnant for the first time about being able to care for a child, but three months after arriving in New York she met the Dowager Duchess of Suffolk. He had heard of her before, but he is sure to never have met her. The Dowager Duchess was one of the buccaneers that came to England to marry into the English aristocracy and she apparently returned to the New World once her son, the Duke of Suffolk had grown up. The Duchess and Mary struck up a friendship and she helped Mary through the pregnancy and the first trying years of motherhood. Whenever Mary mentions her in her letters, and she mentions her in almost every letter, he thinks that should he ever meet the woman, he should thank her profusely.

The service for the funeral is as those services always are, although as far as he is able to take in, nobody cries. Hardly any of the people in the village have turned out for the service, but he isn't surprised by that. His wife was too aloof, too arrogant to be popular with the servants, the tenants or the people in the village.

The third day after the funeral he contemplates not to put on his mourning clothes for the first time, but he thinks that he has to be in mourning for six months or he would cause too much gossip. When he has breakfast by himself Carson brings him a letter from Mary.

_Dear Papa,_

_This is the letter I promised. I won't tell you that I am sorry about my mother dying, because I can't feel sorry about it. Remember how Granny said that she wasn't sorry about James when he died on the Titanic? That is how I feel now. It feels weird, but that is the way it is and Matthew and the Duchess both say it is alright to feel the way I do._

_How are you? I suppose you are not too sad._

_I am sure that you already guessed it from the telegram; I have the best of news for you. Matthew and I are going to have another baby. It makes us so happy. _

_We would both like to invite you to come here and stay with us for as long as you like. George and Lizzie ask about their Grandpapa almost every day and Matthew and I both miss you very much. So please do come over here. Just let us know when you will arrive and we will pick you up._

_Mary_

_P.S.: Nobody here knows that your wife has recently died._

The letter makes him smile, especially the post scriptum. His daughter knows him rather well and he misses her and Matthew too, so he enquires about the next available crossing and books it for three days later.

He offers Isobel to go with him, she has never seen their grandchildren either after all and he knows that she misses Matthew and Mary just as much as he misses them. He asks her during a dinner at the Abbey at which Dr. Clarkson is also a guest and when Isobel looks at Dr. Clarkson unsurely and the man looks as if he was begging her to stay, he says "Or maybe you should stay here. Have dinner here from time to time, give the servants something to do. Maybe you could invite a guest occasionally."

After dinner, when he is alone with Dr. Clarkson, the doctor asks him "So you would give me your blessings?"

"Of course I would."

"What about Mr. Crawley?"

"I doubt he'd have any objections."

He is sure that when he comes back, Isobel will at least be engaged, if not married and he is very happy for her. Isobel has become one of his best friends, they always got along rather well, but they became much better friends once their children had moved to New York together. Isobel has been alone for far too long and he is sure that Dr. Clarkson is the right man for her and he certainly doesn't want to be in their way by insisting on Isobel accompanying him to New York.

So he only takes Bates, his valet, with him. The man seemed rather eager to go and said something about being happy to see Anna again and thus they are off.

After the first night on the ship he tells Bates to forgo the mourning clothes and to return to normal clothing.

"I suppose the mourning period was rather brief for you your lordship."

"It was nonexistent. I am sorry to say it, but that's the way it is."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you so much for the reviews and follows and favs! You guys are great!

Kat

* * *

When he gets of the ship in New York, Mary is waiting for him and hugs him so tightly that he can hardly breathe.

"Mary, child, let go, just a little," he says and Mary sobs out a tearful "Sorry, Papa. I just missed you so much."

"I missed you too, my darling girl."

Mary has of course brought a car and a driver and he sits across from her on their way to her house. He thinks that she has changed; her facial expressions and her eyes seem less sharp. He is sure it is an effect of motherhood.

Matthew awaits him in front of the house and greets him rather enthusiastically by hugging him, though by far not as tightly as Mary did.

"Welcome to the New World."

He is then lead into the house and when he hears the patter of little feet, he turns around and for the first time in his life actually sees his grandchildren. They stop short of him and look at him in wonder. George looks exactly as he imagines Matthew to have looked like as a child and Lizzie looks like a copy of Mary, except for her eyes. She too has inherited Matthew's piercingly blue eyes.

He smiles at them and while the little girl hides behind Mary, George walks towards him, holds out his hand and says "Hello Grandpapa, I am George. I am pleased to meet you." He has to laugh out loud at that but then lifts the little boy up and then says "I am very pleased to meet you too."

He spends the rest of the afternoon being shown around the house by Mary with her children in tow. The house is of an impressive size and very tastefully decorated.

"Cora, the Duchess, I mean, recommended and interior designer to us," Mary says when he mentions how much he likes the house. They have a family dinner, just Mary and Matthew and him and when Mary leaves him with Matthew after a while, he thanks his son-in-law for having made Mary so happy, to which Matthew replies that Mary is making him very happy too.

"I suppose you both enjoy parenthood." He knows they do, both their letters are full of little stories concerning their children, both of them must be rather involved in their children's upbringing and from what he has seen that day, his and Isobel's assumption that Mary and Matthew must be very good parents seems to be correct. He makes a mental note to write about this to Isobel. She of course never doubted either Matthew or Mary but he knows that Isobel will be happy nonetheless if he tells her that they were right.

"Yes, very much so."

"You are doing a very good job at it. I can see that."

"Thank you. Much of it is thanks to Cora. The Dowager Duchess. She has really been a great help to Mary especially."

"I know, Mary mentions her rather often in her letters. I must meet that woman and thank her for what she has done for Mary."

"Don't worry, you will. She will have dinner here tomorrow night. Although I suppose she will come for tea already. She usually does, she wants to spend time with the children. She is their godmother after all."

"Will you make her godmother of the third one as well?"

"If she agrees, and I am confident that she will, then we will make her the godmother of all our children. If you are concerned about the actual guardianship, should anything happen to both Mary and me, then Mother and you come first of course. But she is a second."

"A very close second I think."

"Yes. We are lucky to have her."

He then tells Matthew about his suspicion concerning Isobel and Dr. Clarkson and Matthew breaks into loud laughter, telling him that based on his mother's letters he has had the same suspicion for quite some time. They join Mary again shortly afterwards and he can't remember ever having spent such a lovely evening with anyone.

He spends the next day with Mary and realizes only then, when he has her to himself, how much he really missed his daughter.

"I've missed you too Papa," she replies when he tells her how much he missed her. For a brief second he wants to ask her to return to England but he does not want to put pressure on her. They will have to return eventually because Matthew is not ready to be an Earl yet, there is still quite a lot he has left to learn, but Mary and Matthew and their children seem so happy in the New World.

"The Dowager Duchess of Suffolk" the butler announces, he gets up and watches the woman that Mary has written so much about enter the room. She must be about his age, he knows that from Mary, but he thinks that she looks a little younger and he also thinks that she is breathtakingly beautiful. Mary makes the obligatory introduction and when the Duchess takes his hand and says "Lord Grantham, how nice to finally meet Mary's father," there is a twinkle in her eyes that somehow seems familiar to him, although he has no idea what it reminds him off. The children seem to love the Duchess dearly and they call her 'Auntie Cora' and he finds it very endearing that she seems to be very comfortable with this.

Sometime after dinner, when Mary and Matthew are engrossed in conversation with each other, he maneuvers the Duchess to the side of the room and tells her how thankful he is to her.

"You have made my daughter's life much easier. You deserve all the thanks in the world. Mary is my only child and," but the Duchess shakes her head and puts a hand on his forearm, which he finds rather bold but pleasing nonetheless.

"Don't thank me. I am glad she and Matthew are willing to put up with me. It is rather difficult for me here, having lived in England for such a long time, continually worrying about my son. He sent me back here because he was afraid there would be a war and he was right. The war did not come to England, but my son felt better knowing me to be on the other side of the Atlantic and I understood. But I'd have been rather lonely here without Mary and Matthew. It is strange, really, if you think about it. I never felt at home in England, but my closest friends here are a future Earl and Countess." He wonders at her openness, wonders why she tells him about such personal matters, but then thinks that maybe she is just glad to be talking to someone her own age.

"I am thankful regardless." She smiles at that and then says "You are welcome, then."

Later that night, for the first time in thirty years he dreams of an actual woman and for the first time in as many years, he is looking forward to seeing a woman again, and not just because she is a very good friend or a relative.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! Also for those on the epilogue of _The Affair_, I have finally written a story that got over 100 reviews (woohoo!).

I can't promise an update tomorrow or on Sunday as I am extremely busy at the moment, but I will do my best!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think, please.

Kat

P.S.: Just in case you get several notifications about an update of this story, there seem to be some updating problems today. In case you thought there were two chapters today: Sorry, it's just this one.

* * *

He sees the Duchess again only three days later at a ball given by some friends of Mary's. When he asks her to dance with him she looks at him and smiles a rather sad smile, but only for a second, and then says "It would be a pleasure."

Her physical closeness to him almost drives him mad during the dance and he doesn't realize how close he is actually holding her until the Duchess remarks on that at the end of their dance.

"But you always used to do that," she says and then goes pale.

"What?" he asks utterly bewildered.

"We have danced together before, you know. It was over thirty years ago and I can't hold it against you that you don't remember that."

"I am sorry," he says and as a consolation offers the next dance to her as well, at which she laughs out loud and he wonders if he remembers that laugh. At the end of the dance he tells her again how sorry he is that he doesn't remember her because it seems to subdue her slightly, regardless of her claiming that it did not bother her.

"I don't mind that you forgot the dances, but you kissed me as well and I had rather hoped that you remembered that," she says with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, I kissed many girls before I got married," he answers without thinking. It is true though, he did kiss many girls, he liked to kiss and to be kissed and he finds it rather ironic that he married a woman who in over thirty years of marriage did not kiss him once. The Duchess laughs at this, although it seems a little forcedly. However, she seems to return to being perfectly happy during their next dance and afterwards, without talking about it, they go outside. The garden of this house is beautiful and when he tells the Duchess so, she asks him to walk around it with her. They talk about their mutual acquaintances for a while but switch to more personal subjects soon.

"I know it is an impertinent question, Lord Grantham, but shouldn't you be in mourning?"

It is a very impertinent question but then again, the Duchess is probably privy to almost all of his family's private affairs, and so she most likely knows at least a little about his wife. His dead wife.

"I am sure that Mary told you a little about her mother."

"Yes. Quite a lot actually."

"Then you know why I am not in mourning. I just can't mourn her. I am sorry to say it. I did not wish for her to die, but," he can't go on.

"When my husband died, the only thing that made me sad about it was the fact that my son would never know his father."

"Your husband died a long time ago."

"Yes. More than 27 years ago."

They are back at the house now but haven't gone inside. The music can be heard in the garden and without realizing what he is doing, he begins to dance with the Duchess again.

"And you never remarried?"

"No. I didn't want another loveless marriage, one was quite enough, as you probably know."

"Oh yes." He has to chuckle at this.

"And I never made the effort to fall in love."

"You just couldn't be bothered." He knows the feeling. The reason he never looked at another woman had not been that he was married, but that he couldn't be bothered to deal with another woman.

"Yes."

"We have something in common then." Now it is her turn to chuckle.

"Were you that honorable a husband?"

"No. Like you, I just couldn't be bothered. Which is strange, because before I got married, oh never mind." He can't tell her about how he had hoped for a passionate marriage full of love, that would be going too far, especially as he had apparently once kissed the woman he is talking to now and holding in his arms.

"I know what you mean Robert," she says and when she says his name, goosebumbs erupt all over him but before he realizes why, she has already moved towards him and the moment they begin to kiss, when she puts her hands into his hair and he puts her arms around her waist, his world spins out of control. Of course he remembers her, he was enamored by her. He spent years trying to forget her and he was successful eventuall,y but with her just saying his name, with this one kiss it all comes back to him.

"Oh God, Cora," he says when they break apart.

"So you do remember me then?"

"Yes. I banished you from my thoughts, I had to, I would have gone mad otherwise. But I remember, of course I do." She smiles at this.

"You still kiss the same way."

"Well, I didn't have any occasion to refine my techniques." She laughs at this and although it really isn't funny, he laughs with her and then they kiss again and it seems to him as if they never stopped. They walk around the garden again and kiss and talk and eventually they must have come to rest at the far side of the house, because when it becomes light again, they aren't standing in front of the windows any more, but they are sitting on a bench at the other end of the garden and he doesn't really remember how they got there, but he doesn't care about that, all he cares about is that Cora is still with him and that she is sitting next to him, leaning against him, his arms around her.

"Robert, I think we have to go," she says eventually and he knows that she is right.

"When will I see you again?"

"Since it is Sunday, tonight. I always have dinner with Mary and Matthew on Sundays."

"Will you come for tea?"

"Yes." They share one last kiss and then walk back to the house hand in hand. He only lets go of her when he absolutely has to and she smiles at him when he does. The butler tells him that Mary and Matthew went home hours ago and he is rather glad about that because he doesn't want to answer any questions. He is not sure whether they noticed that he and Cora vanished at the same time and he isn't sure whether Cora ever told Mary about their history, although he doubts it.

He falls asleep as soon as he lies down in his bed and his dreams are full of Cora. He only wakes up when his valet tells him that the Dowager Duchess of Suffolk will arrive for tea in an hour. He gets downstairs just in time and when he does, Mary says

"You must have had a very nice evening Papa," with such a twinkle in her eyes that he briefly wonders about whether she actually saw Cora and him.

"Well, yes, I had. I hope you didn't wait for me but just left when you wanted to."

"We did, don't worry," Matthew says and smirks at him.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews. They made me work until late last night, so that I could update today!

Kat

* * *

Thankfully Mary and Matthew leave Cora alone and don't ask her any questions about the night before. He wonders if that is because they don't know that she was with him or because they just don't want to tease her. The question more or less answers itself when they invite Cora to stay the night after dinner. Mary and Matthew also leave them alone rather early and when Mary kisses his cheek, she whispers 'good luck' to him.

"I am sure they saw us last night," is the first thing that Cora says to him once Mary and Matthew have left.

"Yes." He has to laugh about this.

They spent this evening in much the same way as the last, by talking and kissing. At four in the morning Cora actually nods off on his shoulder and after half an hour he gently shakes her awake and tells her that it is time to go to bed. They find out then that Cora has been put into the room next to his and there is no doubt for him about Mary having done this on purpose. He doesn't know whether to be indignant or happy about this, but when Cora knocks on his door five minutes after having gone into her own room, he is rather happy about it.

"I can't open my dress without help and the maids are still asleep," she says to him rather sheepishly.

"I'll help you then," he says and unhooks the countless buttons on her dress.

"Anything else?" he asks her when he is done.

"Yes. If you could untie the corset? I'll hold my dress up, don't worry."

That is not what he is worried about and so he does as she asks. When he is done, she turns around and says "Thanks," in a hoarse whisper. He steps closer to her and takes her face in his hands to kiss her and she wraps her arms around him, which cause her clothes to fall to the floor. She turns bright red when she realizes this and says

"I am sorry, that was not what I wanted to, I mean I didn't,"

"I know you didn't," he says. "You are very beautiful."

"Thank you." He kisses her again and sometime later finds himself in bed with her in a similar state of undress, in fact neither one of them is wearing any clothes at all, and her head resting on his shoulder.

"Considering that neither one of us has done this for more than 27 years, we did very well I think," she says to him and laughs.

"Yes," he says and kisses her head.

He wakes up again only a few hours later with Cora still asleep in his arms and wonders whether he shouldn't regret having taken her bed. She was just as willing as him, there was no doubt about it, but he is a gentleman after all, and that means that he has to offer her to marry her. He knows enough about medicine to know that there won't be a baby, Cora is too old for that, but still, he should make an 'honest woman' of her and thus at least offer marriage her. He hopes that she will say 'no' because he never wants to get married again. His sigh at that thought wakes her up and she looks at him, bleary eyed, but smiling. Because there is no time like the present, he first apologizes for having taken advantage of her and then he tells her that if she wanted to he'd marry her. She laughs out loud at this, looks at him and says

"You are quite the English gentleman. You did not take advantage of me and of course we don't have to get married. I don't want to get married; I don't think that I ever want to get married again." Although those words mirror his thoughts exactly, they still feel like a pang to him. She must have seen something flicker across his face because she says "Which doesn't mean that we can't be … 'together', for lack of a better word. I like you very much, Robert, I won't deny that and last night was wonderful and as long as we aren't too open about it, this should work out."

"For as long as I am here." He will have to return to England eventually. He'll miss this season and thus won't attend to his duties as a peer, but that cannot happen again.

"Which will be half a year because you don't want to pretend to be in mourning."

"And then?"

"Then we will in all likelihood be glad that this has come to an end because we will be setting each other's teeth on edge." She laughs at this and he forces himself to laugh too. He knows that she is right, of course she is, but somehow he feels a little hurt.

Over the course of the next five days Cora doesn't go home once and neither Mary nor Matthew seems to be surprised by this. George and Lizzie are of course over the moon about both their Grandpapa and their 'Auntie Cora' staying with them. Cora and Mary show him around New York and when he begins to see the city through their eyes, he understands why they both love this city so much, despite both of them feeling a little out of place in New York's high society.

"Papa?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Mary and he are alone in the drawing room, Cora has gone home, although she said she would be back for dinner, Matthew is still at work and the children are in the nursery.

"What is going on between Cora and you?" He has waited for this question for some time but has yet to find an answer, so he just says "nothing".

"You've spent the last five nights with her, that does not sound like 'nothing'. And don't try to deny it, Anna told me. Not on purpose, it just slipped out."

"Why do you still call her Anna?"

"Because she wanted it that way. But that is not what we are talking about right now, is it?"

"You sound like your grandmother." Sometimes the resemblance between Mary and his mother is uncanny and it drives him nuts.

"Well, I am sure she would ask the same the question if she knew about this."

"But she doesn't Mary, and it will stay this way." At least that is what he hopes, but of course he can never be sure what Mary writes to her grandmother, the two of them are very close, something he is usually rather happy about, but in this case, it might lead to trouble for him.

"Since this is happening in my house, it is my business and not hers."

"Thank you."

"Don't hurt her. Please. I like Cora very much and she doesn't deserve to be hurt, especially not by my father."

He is rather indignant about this and thinks about telling Mary off for even suggestion such a thing, but then he looks at his daughter and sees the concern in her eyes. It is a true concern for a woman she has come to think of as the closest thing to a mother she has ever had. So he just says

"I won't."

"And don't let yourself be hurt either. She doesn't want to get married again, she's done with that. So don't fall for her too much."

"I'll try," he says, but it is too late. He knows it will hurt him endlessly when he will leave New York, will leave Cora behind, but that is a bridge he will cross when he comes to it.


	5. Chapter 5

Cora decides to have her house renovated and thus really moves into Mary's and Matthew's house for three months. He once asks Matthew whether her house really needed a make-over, but his son-in-law just shrugs his shoulders and says "I don't know. Mary and I, in fact all women and I, don't seem to see eye to eye when it comes to judging whether something needs to be 'made-over'. I was sure the room for the baby was still fine but Mary almost exploded when I told her so and so we are having it redone. On the other hand, I thought that we should repaint the walls in our bedroom and Mary laughed at me, told me that the colors still looked as good as new. She then showed the room to Cora, asked her opinion, she agreed with Mary and then they both asked Anna, while I was there, mind you, and she agreed too. So don't ask me anything about remodeling or repainting or anything that comes within a hundred miles of it, because apparently, in the words of your daughter, I am completely clueless." He laughs himself silly at this and Matthew laughs too, but he doesn't dare to ask Mary whether the renovation was really necessary, he doesn't want to be called clueless.

The evening post is brought in shortly before dinner, while he and Cora are alone in the drawing room because Mary and Matthew are bringing their children to bed.

"Oh dear," Cora says and he looks at her questioningly.

"What is it?"

"Sam. My son." He almost says that he knows who Sam is, she keeps mentioning him after all, but she looks so concerned that he holds his tongue.

"Is he alright?"

"No, yes. That depends."

"On what?"

"Whether you are alright when you haven't seen or heard from the woman you want to marry for almost four months and you tried to deal with this on your own and then you break down and write your mother a seven page letter about how awful you feel."

"What happened? Have they fallen out?" Cora squints at the letter.

"I don't think so. He says the last time they saw each other, she was perfectly happy. He wanted to propose to her sometime this spring. I've been wondering why he never sent a telegram saying she had said yes or why he never mentioned her in his letters anymore. I asked him once, but he didn't react to the question at all and I did not want to pry."

"You are a very good mother."

"What?" She looks at him completely taken aback.

"I am sure that it worried you but yet you left him alone with it because that was what he wanted."

"The thing is Robert, he really loves this woman, I know that. He met her sometime during the war, I think in 1917 and he was so sure, he said she was perfect and from what he wrote she really was perfect."

"Who is she?"

"Lady Elizabeth, the younger daughter of the Marquess Kirklington."

"Lilly Shackleton? She is a very nice girl. At least she was the last time I saw her."

"How do you know her?"

"Her grandmother and my mother are friends. She sometimes brought Lilly along with her and then they'd have dinner at the Abbey. Mary knows her too. Not well, they haven't seen each other since Mary moved here of course and I am not sure whether they've kept up their correspondence. I doubt it though, or at some point she would have realized that Lilly's beau was your son."

"That you say she was nice makes me worry even more. Something must have gone wrong." She looks desperate now, with concern for both her son and the woman he apparently loves.

"I'll ask my mother to find out what is going on. She and the old Lady are rather good friends and Lilly's grandmother is a rather nice person, she might talk."

"Would you do that Robert? Would you really do this for me?"

"Of course I would. There isn't much I wouldn't do for you." He realizes too late what he has said and Cora looks at him uncertainly but then says

"Thank you for your help." She doesn't comment on the other thing he said, but he has the feeling that she is keeping her distance from him. He still goes to her room at night, they have started to sleep in her room because it is much nicer than his, but for the next week, they don't do anything besides reading and sleeping in bed. That is until they both have too much to drink with dinner one evening and are left alone again in the drawing room rather early. He turns on Matthew's gramophone and they dance together for quite some time. Holding Cora so close however has certain effects on him and apparently on her as well and after a while they begin to kiss and halfway undress each other and when they hear the butler in the room next door, they flee to her room and continue what they were doing in the drawing room. After that, their relationship returns to what it was before.

He receives an answer from his mother about three weeks after he send her his letter and he opens it eagerly, hoping for good news, though he doesn't know what would be good news in this case.

_Dear Robert,_

_I am very well, thank you for asking, although it did seem rather American to start a letter with 'How are you?'. _

_I invited Lady Shackleton here and I asked her about Lilly. She was rather evasive at first and it was obvious that there was something wrong. Well, you know me, I got it out of her eventually. Lilly is pregnant but she won't say who the father is, although her own father has apparently threatened her with all kinds of things, but the girl keeps quiet. Lady Shackleton says that her son said he would kill the father of the child, so I suppose that is why Lilly refuses to give his name. She is about five months along and the plan is to let her have the baby and then give it up for adoption. Even I find this rather cruel and I told Lady Shackleton so, in no uncertain terms. She said she agreed with me but that there was nothing she could do. I mentioned the Duke of Suffolk, I said that Mary knew his mother, and Lady Shackleton said that the whole family hoped that there would be a wedding, but that Lilly's pregnancy had gotten 'in the way'. They hope that he will take her in about half a year or so, although I doubt it. Who would take a woman who has had a baby with another man? And you always see when someone's had a baby. _

_Speaking of babies, how is Mary? She must take good care of herself, I want all my great-grandchildren to be healthy and happy. And my granddaughter as well of course. _

_Let me know if you find out anything more about Lilly, her grandmother was quite worried and I know what it is like to worry about a favorite granddaughter._

_Mama_

_P.S.: Isobel expects Dr. Clarkson to propose, she is as nervous and as jittery as a school girl. It is quite unnerving. _

_P.P.S.: In case the Duke wants to see Lilly, they have hidden her away in their vacation home in Scotland._

He is just about to get up and look for Cora to show her the letter, when a second page falls out of the envelope.

_My dearest boy,_

_I know you well and thus I know that you will show the letter to the Duchess, so I am writing this on a different page that you better hide from prying eyes. _

_I don't know this Duchess, to my knowledge I have never laid eyes on her, but if she is what Mary says she is, and Mary is not prone to sugarcoat things, she tends to make things seem more bleakly then they are, then this woman must be very nice. I know why it was you who asked me for help and not Mary. Because the Duchess told you and not Mary and I know what this means. I won't tell you to be careful, but please do not hurt yourself. However, if you are sure about this woman, then I wish you all the best luck in the world. _

_This is very hard for me to write and I want you to never tell anyone about this. I love you and so did your father. _

_Mama_

He doesn't know what to think about this but knows that he has to reply to his mother because he has to stop her from making assumptions and more than that from parading those assumptions around. But first he should show the other letter to Cora. When she reads it she goes pale and then says "Oh Sam".

"Do you think the child is his?"

* * *

AN: I know that Violet found a very similar solution regarding Edith' child anything but cruel in season four, but in this story she has seen Robert and Mary suffer for three decades and has thus gone quite mellow when it comes to matters of the heart.

Thank you for all the reviews! They make me smile and keep me writing.

Kat


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thank you again for the reviews!

Originally this story had six chapters, but I have restructured it and now it has ten chapters, I hope you don't mind :)

Kat

* * *

"Yes. I don't know this Lilly, but I am sure, or almost sure that Sam is the father."

"Well, I know Lilly and she doesn't seem to be the kind of woman who would just … take a lover."

"Robert, thank you for your help, but I have to write to Sam now."

"Of course you do." He understands that, of course he does, he knows what worrying about a child is like, especially if that child is on the other side of the Atlantic. So he leaves Cora alone and writes a letter of his own.

_Mama,_

_Thank you for the letters. The Duchess is very thankful for your help and I will let you know once she has heard from her son. _

_About the other thing: Please do not assume too much. The Duchess is a very nice woman and it is true, we get along well, but that is it. She does not want to get married again, she said as much to both Mary and me and so there is no reason for me to try, even if I wanted to. But thank you for your support._

_Don't worry about Mary, she takes very good care of herself and Matthew is over the moon about her pregnancy and would probably carry her everywhere if she let him. You should see them with their children, they have turned into such good parents. Which brings me to my next point. I think that it is about time that they returned to England. Not because I want them to come back, although I do, but because Matthew still has quite a lot to learn and in a way, so does Mary. But I think she should have the baby first and then I will talk to them about returning home. _

_Robert _

"Robert, would you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Would you read my letter to Sam, please? I don't want it to sound accusatory."

"If you are sure that you don't mind me becoming privy to such a private letter."

"No, Robert, I don't mind."

"Then I will read it."

"Thank you, darling." He feels butterflies dance in his stomach but when he looks at her, he sees that she has no idea what she said. So he takes the letter from her and begins to read.

_My dear darling boy,_

_As I already told you, Lord Grantham, Lady Mary's father, asked his mother Lady Grantham to enquire about Lilly and she talked to Lilly's grandmother. What she found out is difficult to tell you. _

_Lilly's parents have hidden her in their vacation home in Scotland and the reason is that she is pregnant. They don't want you to know in the hope that you will not notice and marry her although you have had no contact to her for a pretty long time. Lilly's grandmother says that Lilly is about five months along, but maybe you have a much better idea of how far along she is. And if you do Sam, then go and get her and bring her over here if she is still well enough to travel. Try to find a doctor who will examine her without telling her parents afterwards. Don't worry about the time when you are here. Our house is being renovated but I am sure that Mary and Matthew won't mind having the two of you in their house. Let me know when you have made a decision. _

_I love you,_

_Mama _

"That is a very nice letter. Might I make a suggestion regarding the doctor? Matthew's mother knows a doctor rather well, they might actually get married. He's been our family doctor for decades and we finance the hospital he runs. He'll be willing to help, all I have to do is tell Matthew's mother."

"What's the name of the doctor?"

"Dr. Clarkson, the name of the hospital is the Downton Cottage Hospital."

"Would you take care of that? For me?"

"Of course." She smiles at him and he can't help himself and kisses her and she kisses him and it is the sweetest kiss they have ever shared.

"Cora, I"

"Don't Robert. Don't say it."

So he doesn't, but kisses her again instead. She holds onto him after they have broken apart and begins to cry. He wishes he could comfort her, but she doesn't want to hear what he wants to tell her, so all he does is hold her to show her that he is there for her.

Cora receives a telegram about a week later and once she has read it, she gives it to him.

Thank you Mama Stop Found her Stop Took her to Dr C Stop Everything alright Stop Will come over ASAP Stop Sam

"So he is the father?"

"I suppose so. Oh that stupid boy."

"You are one to talk." She looks daggers at him and he wishes he hadn't said it. He meant it in jest but apparently she did not realize that. "Cora it was a j"

"I don't care what it was Robert, that was uncalled for. And I cannot become pregnant. I don't care that he apparently took her to bed before getting married, that is none of my business. But how can he not have been careful."

"Cora, being careful isn't that easy."

"And how do you know that?" Her tone is rather sharp.

"I was young once."

"And you needed to know how to be careful? I thought you only kissed." She is furious now.

"Cora, calm down. I never did more than just kissing but that doesn't mean that I wasn't told how to be careful should I ever have the need of it. But I didn't have that need."

"Maybe you are right though."

"About what?" He is now utterly confused.

"That what we are doing is wrong."

"When did I say that?" He can't remember ever having said that, he would never say that, he doesn't think it is wrong. Unusual maybe, but not wrong.

"When you said that I was one to talk."

"That was not what I"

"Oh Robert, just"

"Just what?" She is driving him crazy.

"At least for Sam and Lilly there is love."

"Cora that was below the belt. It was you who made it abundantly clear that you didn't want to get too involved emotionally. It is you who keeps telling me that I should not tell you that I love you." He is shouting now and Cora has gone bright red at this and she begins to cry.

"I am sorry," he says. He steps towards her and when she doesn't step back, he puts his arms around her.

"You've never said it before."

"No. You always stop me. But I do. Very much. More than I ever thought was" She now wrestles free of his embrace.

"You are suffocating me, Robert. Please leave me alone. Don't come to my room anymore. Once Sam and Lilly are here, I will go to our home in Newport with them until our house here is finished. Then I will move back there. Mary and Matthew and their children are always welcome to visit me, but I'd appreciate it if you stayed away. At least for a while."

She turns around and leaves the room and he sits down on the sofa, absolutely dumbstruck and for the first time in his life he sheds tears over a broken heart. He puts his head in his hands and tries to block out any thoughts.

"Robert, are you alright? It's just that I saw Cora and she told me that she was going to leave in a few days." It is Matthew's voice who breaks through his thoughts, thoughts that endlessly turn around Cora. He looks at his son-in-law who seems quite worried.

"Mary did warn me," he says.

"Don't give up. Give Cora some space and then try again. Mary sent me away twice. Said she wouldn't be able to love me or our future children. But I knew it was rubbish and so I didn't give up."

"She feels suffocated by me. Cora I mean, not Mary."

"But she loves you."

"No she doesn't." Matthew is making everything much worse.

"Mary too thinks that Cora loves you."

"Then you are both wrong. Matthew, I appreciate your concern, I really do, but there is nothing to be done. I will just have to live with my broken heart for a while, but it will mend, I have no doubt about that." He gets up, claps Matthew on the shoulder and then leaves the room. He is about to cry again, because contrary to what he just told Matthew, he isn't too sure that his heart will actually mend.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam and Lilly arrive about two weeks later and Cora leaves with them for Newport the same day. Mary shakes her head at this and when she says goodbye to Cora he can hear his daughter say "you are making a huge mistake". He can't hear Cora's reply and is too afraid of what it was to ask Mary. Mary is about seven months along now and he dearly hopes that Cora will come back for the birth of the baby, but he doubts it. Their lives go on almost as usual and he spends as much time with his grandchildren as he can during the day because that helps him deal with his broken heart. Those two children are a joy, always happy, usually smiling and they hardly ever fight. They are certainly not like him and Rosamund.

About two weeks after Cora has left, he and the children walk into the entrance hall and he can hear Mary on the phone. He puts Lizzie down, he had to carry her home because she was too tired to walk and he did not bring either a stroller or a nanny, and says to George "take your sister upstairs, tell nanny to get you changed," and then he listens to Mary's phone conversation. He knows he shouldn't do it, but he can't stop himself.

"Cora, it is not me you should worry about. And I am not talking about your son or his fiancé either."

…

"They have gotten married already? Congratulations. But that is not what we are talking about, is it?"

…

"You know what I mean. You may pretend to be glad that you are shot of him, but you are not."

…

"I know because I know you. And my father. You are perfect together and you know it."

…

"That is dumbest things someone has ever said to me. Honestly."

…

"Of course it is your life and your decision, but he won't wait forever. He will eventually go back to England and as Matthew and I are planning to return there before Christmas, you can be sure that my father will return there before Christmas as well."

…

"Well, I am very sorry about that."

…

"No, I am not mad at you. I just think that you are wrong. But I have warned you now and I won't say anything else on the matter. So tell me about the wedding"

He leaves after this. At least he doesn't have to worry about talking Mary and Matthew into returning to England anymore, they have apparently made their own plans already.

"How's Cora?" Matthew asks Mary during dinner.

"Insufferably stubborn. Her son got married though, it made her rather happy I think." He doesn't listen to the rest of the conversation. He has no interest in the details of Cora's son's wedding, it pains him too much. If he hadn't been so stupid when he was eighteen, that might have been the wedding of his son as well. Maybe he would have a real heir then. At that thought he looks at Matthew and admonishes himself. He has the perfect heir, there is no doubt about it.

About two weeks later a telegram arrives for Matthew with the news of his mother's engagement. They celebrate a little, but Mary, now eight months pregnant, goes to bed rather early and he and Matthew drink to Isobel and Dr. Clarkson more often than strictly necessary, and that loosens up both their tongues.

"So, what are you going to do? About Cora?"

"Nothing."

"You are mad."

"It's what she wants."

"Is it what you want?"

"No. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Then do something about it."

"No."

"Why not? What is the worst that could happen?"

"She could send me away for good."

"Hasn't she already done that? It can't get any worse than it already is. Go to Newport, talk to her."

"No." Matthew starts to go on his nerves.

"You are just as stubborn her, do you know that?"

"We are quite a pair then."

"A pair of stupid, stubborn people who stand in the way of each other's happiness."

"I am your father-in-law, you shouldn't talk to me like this." He isn't serious about this and Matthew seems to pick up on that.

"You are more than that to me and you know it. And that is exactly why I talk to you the way I do. I want you happy. Go to her. Tomorrow morning once you've sobered up a little. Because now you are too drunk. As am I. If I want Mary to not kill me tomorrow, I have to go to bed now. Although, if I tell her that I talked you into going to Newport, she might overlook my hangover."

"Well, then tell her that you did talk me into it."

He doesn't make it to bed that night but falls asleep on the settee and is woken the next morning by Mary.

"Papa, the next train to Newport leaves in hour. If you want to catch it, you have to get ready."

"Alright." He thinks the sun is killing him, but Mary hands him a glass of water and an aspirin.

"Take the pill and then go brush your teeth and take a shower. You'll feel better afterwards. I'll have breakfast prepared for you in the meantime."

"What time is it?"

"Eight. I thought you might want to leave rather early. I'll have breakfast with you, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't." He is rather glad she offered this, he would hate to be by himself now, he is too nervous.

He feels much better physically when Mary comes with him to the station. "Good luck, Papa," she says to him when he gets onto the train.

He arrives at Cora's house shortly before three but is turned away by the butler who tells him that the Dowager Duchess asked that the Earl of Grantham should not be admitted to the house.

He is about to walk back to the station when he hears someone call out for him.

"Lord Grantham, wait, please." He turns around and it is Sam who comes running up a path leading to the house.

"Have you been turned away?"

"Yes."

"Well, my mother is mad, not in general of course, but when it comes to you, she is. Please come inside with me." He only met Sam briefly when he and Lilly arrived in New York, he had already like him then, but now he likes him even more.

"Thank you, Duke."

"Sam, please. We are not at court, and even if we were, I wouldn't care." He smiles at Sam who nods and he then follows him inside.

"Lord Grantham will stay at least until tomorrow," Sam says to the butler who looks rather surprised.

"But the Dowager,"

"I know what the Dowager said, but I am the Duke and I say that Lord Grantham will stay. Please don't tell my mother that he is here when she returns."

"But,"

"No but. Do as I ask you, it is what I pay you for."

"Very well, your Grace," the butler says and leaves.

"I will have to apologize to him tomorrow, I am usually not like this. But sometimes I have to be a stuck up duke." He chuckles at this. Sam and he have quite a nice chat and he finds it a pity that he hasn't met Sam any earlier, he is a nice and intelligent young man. After a while Sam says

"I'll leave you now, Robert. My mother and Lilly must be on their way home and I will meet them before they reach the estate and then take Lilly somewhere else. So you and my mother will be quite alone."


	8. Chapter 8

He isn't sure whether this is a good idea, but there isn't anything he can do, so he waits and becomes more nervous every minute. Eventually he hears Cora's voice in the entrance hall and true to what Sam asked, the butler does not tell her that there is a visitor. He gets up and stands rather close to the door and when Cora enters the room she looks at him and her face betrays her disbelief but then she throws her arms around him and sobs "Oh Robert," into his shoulder. She begins to cry and because he doesn't know what to do, he just keeps holding her. Eventually they begin to kiss and Cora takes him to her room and he thinks that this is wrong, that they need to talk first, but he can't stop it once they've started, although there is a little nagging voice in the back of his mind that tells him that he will be hurt very much and soon. They don't leave the bedroom until the dressing gong is rung at seven. Dinner is pleasant, but he is glad when Sam and Lilly go to bed early, though not before Lilly has thanked him for his and his mother's help in a very heartfelt manner, something she already did in New York but wanted to do again.

"We need to talk," he says to Cora.

"I know. I am sorry, I overreacted. But" she stops.

"But what? I can't read your mind."

"I don't want what you want. I can't go through it all again, not even with you."

"Not even with me?" He has no idea what that is supposed to mean.

"No. No matter how I might feel for you, I just can't get married again, I can't tie myself to another person again."

"I understand." He doesn't, but he doesn't know what else he is supposed to say.

"I might return to England with Sam and Lilly. We could still see each other then. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Yes." It would be nice but not what he wants. In those four weeks that he did not see her, he became sure of what he wants and that is Cora as his wife. He wants to be with her every night and day, he wants to go to balls, and parties, and dinners with her, he wants to take her on vacation, go to plays and concerts and the pictures with her. He wants to be able to talk to her constantly, wants to have every lunch and dinner with her, he wants her to be his Countess. But she doesn't want any of that, or only a very small part of it. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing he can do about it. But he decides to take the little he can get, no matter how much it hurts.

They spend a few more days in Newport and then all four of them return to New York because Sam wants the best medical care available for Lilly. Cora and he go on like before. Although her house is finally ready, she hardly ever goes there, she says she wants Sam and Lilly to have some space during this time of Lilly's pregnancy. It is obvious for everyone that this an excuse as Mary is about to give birth and more than half the time that Cora spends at Mary and Matthew's house, Sam and Lilly are there as well.

In September, Mary gives birth to a healthy baby girl Matthew and her name Emily Violet, something he knows will make his mother very happy, as she had been rather disappointed when she was told that Lizzie's middle name was Isobel. Only four weeks later James Samuel is born to Lilly and Sam and in a quiet moment, after he has had much too much to drink, Sam confesses to Robert and Matthew that he is glad that the child is a boy, not because he prefers a son to a daughter but because it takes the pressure of him. Matthew only nods at that, but he doesn't know what to say, he has never had son after all.

Mary and Matthew tell him at the end of October that they plan to return to England at the beginning of December and as Lilly and Sam plan to return then too, he decides to just go back with Mary and Matthew. He would like to spend Christmas with Cora, but he is sure that she will go home with Sam and Lilly and he makes plans to invite them and Cora to the Abbey for Christmas. Isobel and Dr. Clarkson are to get married on New Year's Eve, a date he finds rather strange, but then it isn't his wedding. Maybe he can convince Isobel to issue an invitation to the Duke of Suffolk and his family.

When he tells Cora that he is looking forward to spending Christmas with her, he knows he has said something wrong the moment the words are out of his mouth.

"I am not going back, Robert." His world turns black for a second.

"What? You said you would."

"I changed my mind. I just can't go back to England. And before you have any ideas, I don't want you to stay here. Go home, take care of Mary and Matthew and your grandchildren and if you would be so kind, take a little care of Sam and Lilly and my grandson."

"I owe you that, so of course I will, but why, Cora?"

"England is not my home. This is my home."

"Most people you know will be in England once we have left."

"Not most people I know, but everyone I truly love, except maybe for my mother and brother, but that is a different story. But I just can't do it. I know you are disappointed, but I think it is not just better for me but also better for you. I could never give you what you want, and if I am on the other side of the Atlantic, maybe you'll find a woman who can give you what you want." He shakes his head at this and there are tears stinging his eyes.

"No. I want you, in any way that suits you. I won't find anyone else. Please, Cora. I know I am begging but you can't do this to me." Now it is her who is shaking her head.

"That is exactly why I have to do it. Don't you see? We have fallen for each other too deeply. I once told you that we would set each other's teeth on edge by the time you went home, but we are not doing that. I love you Robert, I really do, but I just can't act on it, it would make both of us unhappy." He now grabs her wrist and pulls her close rather forcefully.

"You say you love me, you know I love you, then why not make this easy Cora?" There are tears running down her face now.

"You are hurting me, Robert," she says. He lets go of her immediately.

"Sorry."

"It's alright, it is a lot to take in, I know, but I can't really explain it, I just know that I would be a horrible wife."

"No, you wouldn't, you'd be a," but she puts a finger on his lips.

"No Robert, I wouldn't be, I am not made for that. I'll be much happier here and you'll be much happier in England." She leaves only a few minutes later, and once again, she leaves him with a broken heart. He doesn't want to tell Mary and Matthew about this, not now, he knows they will be disappointed and they would pity him and that is the last thing he wants. He needs someone to tell him to forget about Cora, that he did this once, that he can do so again and so he decides to write to Rosamund. He tells her the whole story in a ten page letter and when he brings it to the post office himself, he needed some fresh air, he is sure that in about two weeks, he will receive a letter from his sister in which she tells him that he is a blubbering fool and that it was about time he returned to his senses.

He receives a telegram a week later.

Robert Stop Crawleys don't give up Stop Propose for heaven's sake Stop On one knee and everything Stop Your favourite sister

* * *

AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews!

For those of you who are interested: I am making progress with _Sentimental Haste_ and will post a teaser today.

Kat


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I stole one line from the script book of Downton Abbey Season Two, although the context there was a little different.

To give you an idea of the sums of money dealt with in this chapter: Based on my research (which was only conducted online), the value of 1 dollar in 1919 had about the value of 15 dollars today.

Thank you for all the reviews and thank you so much to those of you who are already following Sentimental Haste (or have already favorited that one) just based on the teaser!

Kat

* * *

He has been exasperated because of his sister half his life but never like this. She was supposed to help, not make everything more difficult. Because now he doesn't know whether she isn't right, whether he shouldn't risk it all and propose to Cora. He can't really make anything worse, it is almost as bad as it gets now. He decides to talk to Mary and Matthew about this and they both agree with Rosamund, which makes him wonder if all members of his family have gone mad and he is the only sane one or if it is the other way around.

He decides to start and hopefully finish his Christmas Shopping in New York, he always does this himself, finding presents is one of his favorite activities. He buys too many things for his three grandchildren, but then he is their grandfather and it is his job to spoil them. He also buys too many things for Mary and Matthew, in fact he buys too many things for everyone he loves, but he doesn't care, he has got the money. Matthew regularly has the Downton accounts sent to New York and he saved Downton by stopping Robert from a rather stupid investment years ago. Dealing with the finances is one thing Matthew does not need to learn and because of that Robert has an abundance of money and he likes to spend it on the people he loves.

He walks past a jewelry shop and stops because Mary apparently hinted heavily that she would like a new necklace from Matthew and the poor boy then asked him for help.

"I have no idea what to get her. I am always wrong about those things."

He has a rather good idea of what Mary likes – Rosamund once dedicated a whole week to educate him about jewelry and the differences between hers, Mary's and their mother's tastes, no doubt with agenda of her own and he has already bought a necklace for her.

When he enters the shop, he sees his valet Bates.

"Bates, what are you doing here?"

"Your lordship." The poor valet becomes bright red in the face.

"You of course don't have to tell me."

"Oh I might just as well. I am going to propose to Anna." That surprises him and while he likes Bates very much, he considers him a good friend, he does not like the thought of losing him.

"Suppose she says 'yes'."

"Then Anna and I will talk to Lady Mary and you to discuss our options of being married and still remain in your service."

"I dare say it will be possible. Lady Mary will not want to lose Anna and I will certainly not want to lose you."

"Thank you, my lord."

"Have you picked a ring yet?"

"There is one that I am sure that Anna will like." Bates points to a delicate, yet beautiful ring with a small diamond.

"But?"

"Sorry, my lord?"

"I am sure there is a but. It just sounded as if there was."

"It is too expensive."

"How much do you need?"

"No, you pay me well enough." Why does that man always have to be so honorable?

"I hope so, but Bates, please just let me know."

"10 dollars."

He takes out his wallet and hands 15 dollars to the man who once saved his life.

"No, I can't take it."

"Of course you can. Consider it a bonus for a job very well done for the past seven years."

"Thank you."

Bates buys the ring and leaves and he looks at necklaces for Mary and asks the shopkeeper to reserve some of them for Matthew to look at. On his way outside, his eyes fall on another ring. It is a princess cut with a pale blue diamond that exactly matches the color of Cora's eyes. When he enquires about the price, the sales man says "800 dollars."

"I'll take it for 700." He knows this is stupid, he shouldn't spend that much money, but Rosamund's telegram comes back to his mind. _Propose for heaven's sake_.

"720."

"Alright." He must be crazy. He knows he will never return it to the shop if she says 'no'; he will keep the ring hidden away. That is if he dares to ask her at all. But he thinks that for once in his life, he will listen to his sister. He just needs to find a way to get Cora on her own. He hasn't spent any time alone with her ever since she told him that she wouldn't return to England. He knows he needs the help of at least Mary and Sam and so he decides to talk to both of them.

"Well, at least you have come to your senses," is what Sam says when he tells him about his plan. "I am really sorry about my mother's attitude towards this."

"Well, she had a difficult first marriage, I suppose."

"She hasn't told me much about it, I am sure she wanted me to have as positive a picture of my father as possible. But I am also sure that you are right."

Sam and Mary decide to have a dinner at Mary and Matthew's house and then device a plan of how to ensure that he has a few minutes alone with Cora.

"Let's go outside. All of us," Lilly says after dinner.

"Why?" Sam looks at her questioningly.

"Because this might well be our last night together here. We should make it memorable."

"And going outside in the cold will do that?" Mary plays her role well.

"Mary, darling, don't be a spoilsport. You have lived her for almost six years, Lilly and Sam have only been here for a few months. And I think her idea is splendid. Let's all go outside."

So they all leave and stand on the balcony, overlooking the street.

"It is a beautiful city," Mary says.

"You can always visit me."

"Thank you, Cora. I will miss you. And so will the children."

"Well, there is nothing to be done, on the whole it is better if I stayed here." Sam sighs exasperatedly at this and Robert is sure that that is not an act.

"Mama, please. All your reasoning is just plain stupid."

"Don't talk to me like that," Cora says, but with laughter in her voice.

"I talk to you all I want," Sam replies and then gives his mother a kiss on the cheek.

"I did not raise you very well, my dear boy." Sam only shakes his head at this. He knows that Sam wants Cora to return to England as much as he wants that to happen.

"I sent you over here because I was scared that the war would come to England. I did not envision you not coming back after the war."

"Life changes Sam. And I will visit you, don't worry."

"That is something to look forward then," Mary says and he sees her making a motion for the others to get back inside with her.

"It is cold out here."

"Have my jacket then." He takes of his jacket and is glad that he put the ring into the right pocket of his trousers.

"You'll be cold."

"No, I won't be."

"You lie. But you are a gentleman, so I will gladly take your jacket." He places it around her shoulders, while she turns slightly away from him. He is now standing behind her and he puts his arms around her waist. To his surprise and joy she does not try to struggle free. He knows he has to do it now and his heart is hammering so loudly in his chest that he is sure that Cora can hear it.

"I love you, Cora." She doesn't say anything, but he can feel a sob wrecking through her body. "And I would miss you very much if you really stayed here."

She catches herself and says "I will stay. I will miss you too, so much that it will be very, very painful. But there is nothing I can do. I have made my decision, even if it may have been a wrong one."

"You can always turn it into a right one," he says. "Turn around." She does as he asks and while she turns he gets down on one knee. When she realizes what he is about to do, tears begin to run down her face and she shakes her head. But he knows he can't stop, he doesn't want to stop. So he takes her hand and she doesn't jerk it away although she doesn't stop to cry either.

"Will you marry me?" He has asked the question of all questions and he goes dizzy with fear of her answer.

"How can you ask?"


	10. Chapter 10

"What?" Of course he wasn't sure that she would say yes, in fact he rather doubted she would, but a simple 'no', or maybe an "I'm sorry' would have been a much kinder way to refuse him. Defeated, he gets up and turns around.

"Robert," she says and he wants to ignore her, but she grabs his hand and forces him to turn. She seems to have trouble holding back her laughter and nothing has ever hurt him so much as this.

"Are you laughing about me?" She now really begins to laugh and if he didn't still love her so much, he'd consider slapping her across the face. But of course he would never do that to any woman, especially not her.

"Yes," she says and looks at him expectantly. "It was supposed to mean, 'how can you ask when you know the answer?'"

"What?" She has now utterly confused him. "I was afraid you'd say no, I even considered it the more likely outcome, but I would not have expected you to laugh at me." She is now almost hysterical and has to hold onto him to not fall over. This goes on for a few minutes and only the fact that being a gentleman has been engrained to him from the day of his birth on keeps him from just letting go of Cora and letting her fend for herself. Eventually she calms down and looks at him.

"I am sorry, Robert," she says and strokes his cheek so tenderly that it almost causes him to cry. "I just thought you knew the answer, after what I said before. That I thought that I might have made a wrong decision. After all, this must have been a spontaneous proposal."

"Why?"

"You have no ring."

"What? Of course I have a ring. Oh dear God, I forgot the ring." He reaches into his pocket, gets it out and shows it to her.

"It is beautiful. Oh Robert, you spent too much money on me. I hope you bought me a very cheap Christmas present."

"What?" This woman keeps confusing him.

"At dinner you said you were done with your Christmas shopping."

"Not completely. I haven't got a present for you yet."

"Why not?"

"I didn't know who I would be buying a present for. A good friend of my daughter's or my wife. That makes quite a difference."

"Buy a present for your wife." He can't believe it.

"So 'yes'?"

"If you put that ring on my finger." So he takes her hand and slides the ring in place.

"Yes?" he asks her one more time.

"Yes!" she says and then kisses him. He lifts her off the ground and swings her around. "I love you, too," she says.

"I think we have to go back inside. They'll be waiting for us." There is no need for him to explain who 'they' are.

"So you told them?"

"I asked them for help. Sam and Mary, mainly. I needed you alone, didn't I?"

Much later that night, after a celebrating their engagement with their families first and then by themselves, when Cora is in his arms and he is playing with her hair he says

"I thought you meant no. When you said 'how can you ask?`"

"I am sorry about that. I ruined it for you."

"Well, you made it rather memorable."

"It is a beautiful ring. Where did you find?"

"In a jewelry shop I went to to look for necklaces for Mary. Which reminds me that I still have to tell Matthew that I put some necklaces on hold for him to choose from for her."

"You better go with him when he makes the final choice."

"She should like all of them."

"You are a very good to Matthew."

"I want my daughter happy. And him too. When do you want to get married?"

"Soon. And here. Not in England." He almost expected that.

"We will be here for only two more weeks. Or would you like me to stay here longer?"

"No. I want to go home with you."

"So you don't want a big wedding."

"No. Just the children and us."

"Alright. We'll do it in whichever way you like."

"Thank you, darling."

"The Earl and Countess of Grantham," the butler announces.

Quite a few heads turn to look at them and most people seem rather surprised and then the murmuring starts. Sam and Lilly walk towards them and welcome them, this is their 'Winter Ball' after all.

"I am glad you made it in time. Mary and Matthew arrived hours ago."

"We visited my sister first."

"How is she?"

"Much better. She will come to the shoot."

Lilly and Sam move on to greet the other guests and Cora and he join Mary and Matthew.

"The papers will have a field day with the two of you."

"We know."

"I still think you should have made an official announcement."

"No. We would have been required to at least give a huge dinner party then and we did not want that." Mary rolls her eyes at that but Cora squeezes his hand in thanks. He wanted to make an official announcement but Cora didn't. She said it would cause too much publicity. He wonders whether their method of just showing up as a married couple at the Duchess of Suffolk's Winter Ball won't cause even more publicity, but at least they will not have to give any kind of party or ball themselves, although he isn't sure whether he wouldn't have preferred that. But then again, he understands Cora's reasoning. Both their first weddings were society affairs and both their marriages turned out to be almost unbearable.

He dances far more dances with Cora than he should, in fact the only dances he does not dance with her are the two dances he shares with Mary and the one he shares with Lilly.

At one point he takes Cora outside for a while and when they come back inside, they can hear a few women talk about them.

"Who is she?"

"The mother of the Duke."

"So she was a Duchess? And she gave that up to be a Countess?

"Apparently."

"Why in the world would anyone do that?"

"Because the Earl is Robert Crawley. A lot of women would give up quite a lot for him. He kissed me once, you know? We were both 18. Lucky woman."

"Oh, he kissed many women when he was 18, I think." Both he and Cora have to laugh at this, but the women don't notice them. They are however joined by two men.

"Lucky man, he is. Married to a woman like that. I'd have taken her."

"She never would have taken you, though. Her husband died 28 years ago. It took her 28 years to get married again. Imagine that."

"Well, she is rather picky, I suppose." They both have to laugh out loud at this and when heads turn their way again, he decides that it is time to lead Cora away again.

"So, I am a very lucky man."

"And apparently I am a very luck woman."

"Which makes both of us lucky."

"And happy."

"Very happy," he says and then kisses her on the lips in full view of most of the guests at the ball. He doesn't care about the indignant whispers of the people around him, he loves his wife after all. And so he takes her hand and leads her back onto the dance floor, where he holds her a lot closer than absolutely necessary.

* * *

AN: This is it for this story. Thank you so much for all your support, especially to those of you who have reviewed every chapter! That really makes me smile.

I'll start to post Sentimental Haste on Sunday.

Kat


End file.
